Note to my Nieces: OK, the new “Twilight” flick is opening tomorrow, and I’m guessing you guys are still big fans of the franchise, so I thought I’d put down a few thoughts on the subect:
1. Pornography isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s worth remembering that it’s porn.
2. “Twilight” is porn.
Like all porn, it’s designed to appeal to your most basic instincts and desires, in a way that real life never will. And like all porn, it can teach you some really bad lessons if you take it too seriously.
The new flick, “Eclipse,” is a continuation of the classic girl-porn threesome (guy-porn threesomes usually involve twins, often Swedish ones): There’s one guy who’s dashing and dangerous, and another who’s secure and supportive, and they’re both crazy about the girl and she has to choose one (but not right away, she can string them both along for a while — remember the early threesome in “Grey’s Anatomy”?).
So go ahead and enjoy the silly escapism of the girl-porn that is “Twilight,” but try to have some perspective when it comes to how that sort of thing relates to real life (hint: it doesn’t).
(inspirational poster via Bits & Pieces; cartoon via The Oatmeal)






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